Survivors spared the specter 
of this latest Super Bore

Article written by:
Steven Schindler

This game featured two teams, The Ravens and the Giants, that went 7-9 and 8-8 in ’99 and then 12-4 this season to wind up in what many will remember as the Ray Lewis Bowl. Only the “Survivors” stranded in the Australian outback were to be spared the gruesome specter of this outlandish Super Bore.

The pre-game broadcast gave us skilled hand signers giving life to the words of the festivities for hearing impaired fans. When the cameras panned Ray Lewis I wondered what kind of sign language he wanted to give the Giants to read. I was sure he had a few choice words for them. I had a feeling this was going to be a war of heated, unintelligible confrontation. I knew no words would be adequate in describing what we were all about to experience. We expected hardnosed defense and two offenses that lived by the run. What we got was plenty of one and none of the other.

This game started out somewhere in the Twilight Zone. I could have sworn I saw Baltimore Raven QB Trent Dilfer throwing bombs. I rubbed my eyes when his second rainbow went for six. OK, who’s really wearing Trent Dilfer’s uniform? We’re not following the season long script at all here. Dilfer had already used up his one reception for the game! Right? He missed two other receivers wide open behind the Giant defense. This was vintage Trent Dilfer that Tampa Bay residents had come to know and love.

But this game quickly returned to the promised defensive, smash-mouth event as was announced. At one point I was sure that Dilfer had taken back control of his uniform when Giant linebacker Jessie Armstead returned an interception of a weak toss out in the flat for a TD only to have it called back by a holding penalty. A follow-up Raven interception was as good as a punt and sometime in the first half friends started calling and asking, “Whaaaaat are you doing?” Suddenly imported beer was the hot ticket at the party. What was up with that?

At the half it was apparent that the Ravens were just flat playing stronger than New York to lead 10-0. The teams combined in the half for 263 yards of offense, just 14 first downs and a mere 107 rushing. Baltimore’s defense shutdown Kerry Collins and the Giant offense and Trent Dilfer wasn’t really very effective outside of his uncharacteristic rainbows that surprised almost everybody. OK, snack break! Hey! Where’d the Pepsi machine go? And what’s with this huge hole in the floor? I’m confused. And what was that stupid little dog doing stuck in the doggie door? Somebody call the SPCA!

In the third quarter something exciting finally happened between commercials. In the span of 36 seconds the Giants and Ravens went crazy returning interceptions and kicks trading 3 touchdowns in three consecutive plays with Baltimore coming up on the long end of a 24-7 lead. No one had ever done that before in Super Bowl history. Now we were seeing some scoring. Too bad it was all special teams and defense. This wasn’t smash mouth football. This was mistake induced, running scared football! And all of a sudden that fat little dog had a friend that kept barking “Wassup?” Where did these mutts come from anyway?

This was a truly inspired defensive stalemate until late in the third quarter when New York’s “D” began to fade and the Giant offense was finally smothered by the Raven defensive onslaught. Garnering 4 interceptions from the arm of Kerry Collins Baltimore never let New York’s offense within 29 yards of its end zone. If you had bet the over on punts in this game you would have cleaned up. A new Super Bowl record 21 punts was set between these two offensive slugs, breaking the old record of 9. This somehow became a Baltimore runaway as the Giants fell 34-7. And not a minute too soon. I needed to help clean up this mess before the new ‘Survivor” series started.

So, to all of my good buddies that are still asking, “Whaaaat are you doing?” I am pondering the fact that two different teams have now brought Super Bowl trophies home to Baltimore, about 30 years apart. Ray Lewis has finally answered a week’s worth of unanswered questions by flashing his SB MVP award for all the press to see. Kerry Collins needs to take more psychology classes to figure out the Baltimore defense. And mostly I am sorrowfully reminded that smash mouth, classic defensive chess matches that feature run first, pass never offenses make for big time Super Bores. True so true.

Article provided courtesy of www.e-sports.com

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