Today, we feature Steve Schindler, who takes a humorous look at
the situation surrounding the Redskins.
It's being called the most wasteful Washington expenditure of all
times. D.C. taxpayers are up in arms demanding that changes be made or
that heads begin to roll. Al Gore wants an investigative committee
convened immediately and George Bush Jr. claims he never saw anything like
it in all his days back in Texas.
It, of course, is the fantastic boondoggle the much ballyhooed $100
million Redskins have turned out to be. Never before has so much American
green been spent on so much NFL tainted beef. Not since Gary Hart has so
much star quality produced such drudged results. The Redskins have turned
to Deadskins and there may be no reviving them before the carnage burning
in Daniel Snyder's eyes is let loose.
You know Redskins owner Snyder has to be spitting arrowheads the day
after his team's most indigestible defeat of this young season. After all,
the reason he went out this summer and dumped half of the national GNP on
the likes of Bruce Smith, Jeff George and Deion Sanders was expressly to
beat the same Dallas Cowboys that so shamed them in national prime time
Monday night.
This was not quarterback Brad Johnson's night from the get go. Early on
he exhibited the fact that he could not hit the broad side of Lincoln's
Memorial stone behind if you spotted him a White House veranda and a
chopped down cherry tree. The only reason the highly paid clipboard jockey
Jeff George won't catch any heat in this boondoggle backlash is that he
didn't participate one lick. Not one. Explain that Mr. Roosevelt!
Neon Deion's most spectacular play was a handoff that went the other
way in the hands of Champ Bailey for a 54-yard punt return in the early
going. The last I remember even seeing Mr. "Prime Time" in this contest,
the ball was bouncing off his face as the Dallas cover team corralled him
into Nowheresville. I take that back. I did see Deion later running away
from Cowboy Jackie Harris as the Dallas tight end bullied his way in for
Dallas' final game-clinching touchdown.
The aged and spirited Bruce Smith provided some spark for an
ineffective Deadskins defensive front at times. But in the end he just
looked like another millionaire 37-year old defensive end dragging himself
around chasing a $500,000/yr. 37-year old quarterback. Dallas QB Randall
Cunningham, starting in the place of "smarter-than-you-think" Troy Aikman,
had merely to roll a few yards out of the pocket on any given play to give
himself veritable God's minutes to select his targets. Cunningham's
pick-and-choose tactics gained the Cowboys a 76-yard TD strike to running
back Chris Warren in the first quarter and another run-of-the-mill 44-yard
strike to Rocket Ismail in the final quarter.
Now, one sign from heaven that should not fall on stoned hearts in the
nation's capital, is that there does appear to be a legitimate two-way
iron-man on the Deadskins' sideline this season. Not in the form of the
person formerly known as "Prime Time", mind you, but in the embodiment of
one known as "Faster than Time" Champ Bailey.
This guy Bailey ran reverse punt returns for 54-yard chunks; defended
the Cowboys passing game to Deion's side of the field; and provided sparks
to a Washington offensive passing attack that was on the verge of being
shutdown by the FBI for 11 counts of counterfeiting. Unfortunately for
Bailey, it was all for naught.
All in all, it was only the third game of a long NFL season and
undoubtedly these Deadskins have better days ahead. But this band of
tired, battered and overpaid warriors can't look for much relief in the
next couple of weeks as the shadows of the undefeated Giants and
Buccaneers loom on the immediate horizon.
And somebody should tell Dan Snyder right now that he can never really
count on beating this Dallas team. Cowboys-Redskins clashes are just that
way. In this most heated of NFL rivalries the most unlikely team most
always comes out on top. And that winner has now been the Dallas Cowboys
for their last six meetings.
Capitol Hill investigations will commence soon. With the huge
expenditures of this summer now being questioned and all those bills
coming due soon, this Washington bunch has to turn things around in a
hurry or they'll soon find themselves either doing federal time or
scrambling for the best spots in the witness protection program.
You can contact Steve Schindler or leave comments on Schindler's
Sports List at cybersports@hotmail.com.
